Moving!

Yesterday when I got home from work, I just couldn’t stop moving. Immediately upon returning home, I threw on my running gear and hit the streets. I only ran a few miles, but I never once stopped to walk and for that, I was proud of myself. It was good just to MOVE again, you know? I worry sometimes that my super awesome motivation, which just hit me like a freight train out of nowhere about 3-4 months back and enabled me to train hard for my tri, would go away as quickly as it appeared and I would suddenly gain back all my weight and have to start all over. I have to remind myself that I am a different person now, with different habits and a different lifestyle and that’s not likely to happen, but that fear is always there, isn’t it? Rearing up it’s ugly head so you never, completely forget about it. Maybe that fear is a good thing, keeping me in check, but some days it feels like just one more insecurity....add it to the pile!

When I got home from my run, the block was bouncing with folks so I did a little socializing and actually managed to sit still for about 20 minutes while chatting with one neighbor, but then I was on the move again. I came home to a delicious dinner that I didn’t have to cook. Thanks again, Captain. You are the shiz-nit; and you know this MAAAAN!!!! And then I threw in a load of laundry and attacked the kitchen floor. It was disgusting. And I mean just really wrong and gross. The Captain and I, some time back, just sort of quit doing housework. Oh, we’ll change the sheets, do the laundry and the dishes, take out the trash and so forth, but rarely do we address things like the thick layer of dust that has settled on everything, the enormous piles of cat hair gathering at the stairs, the bathroom covered in scuzz or the kitchen floor, which I feared was going to eventually spring to life and swallow me whole if I didn’t address the dirt monster there. I’m not sure why we quit, we just did. We are not messy, things get put away before they pile up too high, but lately, we’ve gotten a little, er, dirty. (Heh, heh. We’re dirty. SO dirty. That’s hawt. And now I’m distracted.) ANYWAY, I first had to sweep up all the loose dirt, crumbs and cat hair off the floor. One word: EW! Who lives here? Pigs, apparently. I knew a mere mopping was not going to kill the beast that had become our kitchen floor so I actually got out the SOS pads and the Comet (Harsh scouring on the floor you think? YES! It was necessary, our floor was THAT dirty.) and got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed. I scrubbed until my arms were sore, and then I scrubbed some more. After the scrubbing came the rinsing, WITH BLEACH water. Then I left the floor to dry and ran out to Target. I returned home a hundred dollars poorer (damn you TARGET!) and since the floor was now dry, I spread a little wax on it to restore the shine and it finally looks like a floor again instead of a disgusting monster of dirt. One tiny task down, a billion to go! But The Captain, inspired by my frenzy, promised to do a little cleaning himself today so we’ll see what else gets taken off the to-do list. After watching a half an episode of Entourage, I grabbed a shower and fell into bed. Whew!

Tonight I meet with my trainer. Oh Mark, how I’ve missed you! We are devising a new plan to do some target training and I’ll be scheduling 3 days a week with him for a while to see how that goes. It’s been over a week since I’ve seen him and I’m thinking this workout tonight may kick my ass a little bit but I welcome it. Bring it on bitch! I ain’t ascaired of you! After our 30 minute session, I’ll be hitting the dreadmill for some circuit training. UGH! But after my long sit, I’ve earned this. Time to push, time to work, time to sweat.

And so it’s Friday AND it’s payday. I have plans with neighbors tonight that I’m looking forward to, an entire weekend with The Captain and the weather here is gorgeous. I have done far too little of sitting around on porches with neighbors, cruising the river on our boat and especially, terribly little (embarrassingly so) of riding my beloved motorcycle! I plan to remedy ALL of that this weekend. Hope you all enjoy yours!

KOOZA!

Last night The Captain and I took in the Cirque du Soleil show Kooza. If you've been wandering in the garden a while, you know I loves me some Cirque du Soleil! I fell in love years ago when I saw one of their shows on TV. Since then I've been to Saltimbanco, Allegria, Varekai and Corteo. I love the visual stimulation, the vibrant colors, unexpected characters, amazing talent and always fantastic music. I think I spent the first half of the show last night with my mouth hanging open. Typical for me. My cheeks hurt from smiling and I know I gasped out loud more than once at something surprising that I saw. This morning I sit here with their latest CD playing in my ears as I continue turning it all over in my mind. If you've never been, I can't recommend it highly enough! If you live in town, there are probably still tickets available (every seat is a good seat) and the big top is located on the river in downtown Saint Paul. Run, don't walk!

I got some great news yesterday. My aunt said her first words since the stroke. "This is hell" and damn that girl is right! She is working really hard in therapy and making steady progress and my mom is thrilled to report being able to actually see her sister through the haze and that is just about the best thing ever. If she's come this far in only a week (today marks 7 days) then I am confident that she will make a strong recovery, it's just going to take some time.

On the workout front, I am a big, fat, lazy slug! I only worked out ONCE while at the lake and haven't done squat since I've been home but all that changes tonight. I plan to hit the pavement tonight after work. Not sure if I'm going to run or bike but I will be doing something for sure. Then I see my trainer tomorrow and we start a new strategy. I want to start back with him at 3 days a week. I had dropped to 2 while training for the tri but it's time to kick things back up a notch. We are going to be targeting some specific areas and I want to kick some of those lazy bad eating habits that have snuck their way back into my routine to the curb and see if I can't shag some of this weight. I haven't lost a pound in AGES although I know I have made some amazing progress in shifting things around and gaining strength and flexibility, but it would be nice to combine that with maybe a smaller pant size or something, you know?

That's it for now. Happy Thursday everyone!

Lake

Oh my Lordy I missed you people! Even you stalkers who read but never comment, I missed you too! I've had a nice vacation which is documented below with the usual pictures and stories. It will take me a while to get caught up on my reading as I have returned to a mountain of work but eventually, I'll be fully back in the swing. So for now, away we go.......

Country music and big billowing clouds of bbq smoke, i must be in Kansas City! Currently I am sitting next to The Captain streaking towards the lake. 3 quick hours in the car with one massive Walmart run and we'll be there. I would say all is right with the world but there is some family stuff going on that is hanging like a cloud over me and our week ahead. It's a pretty major medical issue with one of my relatives but I'm not going to go into detail. I'd rather focus on the positive right now. I have a belly full of Bob Evans biscuits and memories of last nights laughter still ringin in my head. The sun is shining, the weather forecast looks spectacular and I have a blissful week of NOTHING ahead. After the circus that has been the past 2 days at work, I am ready, ready, READY for this rest. Heaven on Earth, here I come!

You know you're in Missouri when..........you spot not one, not two, not even three but SIX grown men in overalls in a mere hour at the Super Walmart in Sedalia. As The Captain says: It's not just an outfit, it's a lifestyle! I like to say it's the tuxedo of the Midwest. Ah, I'm home!

Finally settling in here at the cabin. After arriving yesterday we spent about an hour getting everything squared away, putting the food away, making up our bed and sweeping the decks and porches free of Mayfiles. Oh my dear sweet baby Jesus, the Mayflies!
Every summer for a few weeks, those little worms with wings spawn and plaster their writhing little bodies all over our cabin walls, windows, dock, outdoor furniture and trees. They are absolutely everywhere! They come out as dusk, live for a mere 24 hours, mate to make more horrid writhing worms with wings and then die, leaving their carcasses stuck to EVERYTHING!I so dearly despise them but even their unwelcome presence can't spoil the beauty that is the lake! I would rather be here, Mayflies and all, then any other place on the planet.
Still dealing with the family medical issue. My aunt had a major stroke two days ago and her future is unclear. It's a day by day waiting game at this point and I make frequent calls to my mother. It's hard not having my cell phone or the internet down here because right now, my family is circling the wagons, there are emails and phone calls and Caring Bridge websites and I am missing being enveloped in that technology circle of familial love and support. While I have a computer on which to compose, we have no internet access. I feel a bit disconnected from everyone but my mother understands this and graciously takes my phone calls several times a day even though I'm certain it's tiring to have to answer my questions all the time in addition to having to deal with watching her sister go through this and all the emotion that entails.

So I distract myself with laying in the sun,

swimming in the lake (or rather floating on it)

and reading my books and trashy magazines.

Despite all that's going on right now, I AM relaxing. I've had several naps already; this is one of the only places on earth where I actually am able to nap, I'm actually relaxed enough to be able to sleep during the day. The pace here is calm, easy, quiet and I am enjoying it. I'm enjoying doing nothing with The Captain. Taking lazy boat rides, swimming across the cove and back, reading side by side, watching the sun set on the lake and just chatting about everything and nothing at all. Speaking of all that wonderful stuff, I'd best get to it for today.
There is just something about this place that is so deeply, deeply relaxing. Whether I'm floating on a raft, head to foot with The Captain bobbing in the lazy motion of the lake or turning another page in my book as the sweat from the sun drips down my neck or sitting in the perfect evening air neither too cold nor too hot, or breathing in the succulent scents of the bbq grill as my dinner is being prepared, it all has the same effect on me, peace and calm and clarity. I love it here. And someday when I die, my ashes will be scattered here. It is my own personal heaven on earth and I was lucky enough to marry into this space.
We had a delightful day today, mixed with lazy relaxation and a few easy chores. The weather has been absolute perfection and we are soaking every second of it up. There was a bit of encouraging news regarding my aunt as well. Today she fed herself with a fork and gave her doctor a thumbs up sign. She is still unable to answer questions or communicate in any meaningful way but we are still encouraged. She is interacting with her surroundings somewhat and is making small but triumphant strides. She is a strong woman but a gentle soul and I feel she will progress in her own good time, God willing. And so still we wait, huddled together, wrapped in love, whispering prayers.

Tomorrow, some of The Captains family will descend. It will grow louder, with more activity, more bodies, more laughter, more everything and I welcome all of it. With more people around, we shift from lazy, relaxing days to fun filled active days. We do things like water ski, check out The Captain tearing it up!

We go for long boat rides and start drinking way earlier than is considered socially acceptable.

And occasionally, if we've had a few beers, we decide to jump off cliffs just for the hell of it!

I like to scream the whole way down. I find it enhances the experience. This was not my first time off this cliff, nor will it be my last I suspect. I don't care how old I get, jumping off this cliff is just fun! We also swing from rope swings and do back flips

we grill up our dinners

and watch the sunset.

Two days of activity have buzzed by. We thoroughly enjoyed seeing The Captains assorted family members. We went for long boat rides, bobbed in the water, swung from swings, jumped off cliffs, went skiing, held down the dock and enjoyed lots of food and even more drink. The weather has just been great, I am definitely getting a good healthy dose of summer! It's hot enough to need to jump in the lake to cool off, but not hot enough to really make you miserable, plus the humidity is totally tolerable and you can't ask for better than that!

We had one last quiet day on the tail end of our lake stay where it was just The Captain and myself again. We enjoyed it immensely and just enjoyed being together.


And so now we are back home, our skin bronze and kissed by the sun. Our memories tucked in our hearts and already starting down the countdown until next time. My aunt continues to make slow but steady progress. She has a very long road in front of her, but one that we will all walk with her. My family is taking some lumps right now but we are standing strong together because that's what families do. So glad I have such wonderful people in my life and such wonderful places to go and escape once in a while. And so I will leave you with one last image, the last sunrise we enjoyed before heading home. Hope you like it. I know I sure did.

Dinner with Leesh

Have I mentioned before how much I love it when people cook for me? With The Captain gone more often than not, this poor little flower has to fend for herself and Lucas does not enjoy cooking. Lucas CAN cook. Lucas HAS cooked. But Lucas does not ENJOY cooking. (And Lucas will now STOP referring to herself in the third person!) Last night after kicking some serious ass at the gym with Mark, my totally awesome trainer, I grabbed a quick shower at home and jumped in our zippy convertible to make the trek over to Minneapolis. I know. Obviously I will do ANYTHING for food, even cross the Mississippi - GASP!!

Leesh is just one of the brightest spirits I know and spending time with her is always easy and energizing. I've always completely admired her love of eating healthy. With her, she doesn't decide to make good choices, she just wants to. She'd take a salad over a bag of chips anytime and just uses such fresh and natural ingredients. Last night was no exception. She easily whipped up a couple of gorgeous salads with stuff she had just hanging around the house.

Doesn't that look so fantastic? How about a close up?

YUM! Fresh greens, organic carrots that tasted like candy they were so sweet, Gorgonzola, cashews and beets. Not pickled beets, just plain cooked beets. Who keeps a dish of cooked beets in their fridge in case they feel like digging in? Leesh, that's who. And I had no idea that I liked beets so much. And pair it with a glass of red wine and you have now hit totally awesome!

Look, I'm giddy with excitement about digging in!

She also shared these little lovely Japanese rice treats with me that were so crunchy and fun!

Not that these are real healthy or anything, but they were something new to try and they sure were good crumbled over my salad. They originally came in these little bowls that you could pretty much stuff anything in to make unique little appetizers. I threw my toes in the shot for a size reference.

Leesh also grilled up a couple of awesome chicken breasts. You gotta love a girl who can grill and end up with a juicy, perfectly seasoned and cooked piece of meat. That girl sure ain't me, but Leesh is a grilling goddess.
And check out her brand spanking new deck in the background! Our dinner together was the inaugural dinner on the deck and I was so honored. And I made sure to leave my mark for posterity's sake.

Ok, it was actually an accident but Leesh was thrilled to see it. The first sign of friendship and entertaining to grace these fresh planks. We enjoyed the deck to its fullest.

It was a lovely dinner on a beautiful evening with a wonderful friend. And you thought it was just a Monday.

In other news, we are finally getting some much needed rain and not just the little spitting stuff either, lots and lots of big, fat, steady drops. Thank you Mother Nature! I can hear the grass, trees and flowers sighing with relief.

I have just 2 more days of work until The Captain and I head for our cabin in Missouri. Looking so forward to my favorite place on the planet. Things will be quiet for a while because we don't get reliable internet down there but you never know, I might be able to pop in. Happy Tuesday everyone.

Catching up with Sol

I did it. I went ahead and messed with Texas! Everyone told me not to, there were big signs everywhere clearly stating "Don't mess with Texas!" but I did. What's that about anyway? Just because your state is huge you have to have an attitude? Whatever. Despite their warnings, (Oooh, I'm SO scared!) I managed to have a great time.



Friday morning I took off for San Antonio. Flying on Southwest is really different than flying on Northwest. I had to take 3 flights to get there and it took me all day long, but it's hard to complain about a free ride (notice how I managed to squeak in a little whining anyway?) Once I got there, I had to wait for Sol to arrive. He had to work all day in Kileen and then got stuck in Austin traffic so he didn't arrive in San Antonio until about an hour and a half after I landed. I managed to somehow get myself to the wrong terminal for pick up so there was some more logistics we had to sort out but FINALLY he was standing in front of me!




It was so wonderful to see him again, healthy, happy, in one solid piece and out of any threat of immediate danger! It's been great just knowing he was home for the past month, sleeping in a real bed, getting hot showers, eating good meals, wearing clean clothes and just the everyday luxuries we all tend to take for granted. And there's something about being able to communicate in person, without having to rely on technology that just is such a relief. We chattered away like magpies all weekend.


We headed immediately for food since we both were starving. We attempted P.F. Changs but the wait was too long so we found a steakhouse and bellied up to the bar.
I had a great piece of halibut with some Israeli couscous and Sol did The Captain proud by ordering up a huge slice of prime rib medium rare and ate every single bite!

I had never seen Sol in person in his uniform before so we had to have a picture of that! Not a very flattering picture because that uni makes him look way bigger than he actually is when will I learn to stay away from horizontal stripes? But really, who can see past those smiles? So many teeth!

We made our way to Fort Sam Houston where we were supposed to be able to stay for super cheap but being a boy and all, Sol hadn't called ahead and they were all booked up. That lead to a 2 hour ordeal of trying to find a hotel with two empty rooms at ten o'clock at night which we laughed our way through but eventually, we found a HoJo's and finally were able to sack out after our long days.

The next day I let Sol sleep in a bit since he NEVER gets to do that. (PT every morning at 6:30 and The Army NEVER sleeps so......) but eventually rang him around 10 demanding breakfast and we were on our way. By the time we got to the Riverwalk area, it was nearly lunch so we found a Mexican joint and settled in. For some reason, Sol ordered me a Texas sized margarita (yes, before noon). Why is everything in Texas bigger? Bigger isn't ALWAYS better, just ask my ass! I did my best but couldn't kill it. Oh well. We shared some fajitas and did some good people watching. There were soldiers EVERYWHERE, both Army and Airforce and Sol explained their uniforms and insignias to me.

After lunch, we were off to The Alamo! Thank Goodness we remembered it! Ha! It was smaller than I expected and was tucked right among all the buildings downtown which surprised me.

There were lots of people but the line moved fairly quickly so it wasn't too bad. We decided to take the audio tour since I knew nothing about The Alamo. I still don't to be honest with you. I did a really bad job of focusing on the information and barely retained any of it. My memory is mostly visual and there were some really cool sights to see.

After taking the tour and wandering the grounds we started knocking around downtown. There was a candy store I wanted to take Sol to since he had a slight gummy addiction. (I'm a girl, I DO my research!) We found it and got right to work digging in. Chocolate covered pretzels for me....
and gummies for Sol.

This is going to sound silly but we had the best time digging through the gummy letters spelling my name and then his. We were like two kids.........(you wanna finish this for me?)......in a candy store. Yes! I HAD to go there! But seriously, it was a blast. Sol is goofy-silly and we giggled like idiots. After finding our names he piled in more and more gummies of all shapes and flavors and that bag was almost full!

We were in there a long time, but their air conditioning might have had something to do with that! Then we found a souvenir store where Sol thoughtfully chose several magnets for me. (I collect them from all the places I go and even have a special spot in the house where they get displayed and it's NOT the fridge. )

How lucky am I that Sol loves having his picture taken almost as much as me so he was a willing subject. I even tested him by making him pose for me and he obliged me enthusiastically. (The Captain at times is only tolerating me and my camera despite his ruggedly handsome face!)

Besides Sol's mug, there was plenty to see along the riverwalk and downtown area. I snapped away at will and Sol was so patient with me stopping and shooting so often. As a photographer himself, he wanted to see what I was getting and complimented me on my eye. Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE! :)

It was a long, hot day so we eventually headed back to the HoJo's for a little nap and shower time before meeting up again to head to dinner. We found a place called Pesca and since I was in the mood for some more fish, in we went. We were in no hurry and this place did a great job of keeping up with our pace. A slow, relaxed dinner was exactly what I was hoping for. After ordering our drinks, (which was hilarious by the way because Sol ordered his cocktail VERY specifically and when it arrived, it came without ice because he forgot to say 'on the rocks' which I of course teased him for!) Sol ordered up some oysters which he enjoyed very much. Good thing too because I just can't do the oysters. Nope. Those slippery little suckers have no business getting their sliminess anywhere near me! Next we split a salad with spinach, peaches, Gorgonzola and candied pecans. YUM! Finally we moved on to our entrees. I had some Ono fish (pronounced Wahoo) from Hawaii that was really good and Sol ordered up some Texas redfish.
While it sounds like a lot of food, it really wasn't and so after dinner, Sol wanted some ice cream so we headed off to find some cones. I'm guessing he didn't have ice cream even once while he was in Afghanistan. Can you imagine going 14 months without any ice cream? I can't! Sounds like torture to me! He chose banana and I of course went for the chocolate; a bold move in my white dress but I managed to stay drip free!

We wandered slowly taking more pictures and just enjoying the evening. These pics don't show it but that place was just crawling with people. It got way more crowded at night. I had to wait for quite a while to be able to shoot these stairs free of bodies.

Eventually, the yawning started and it was time to head back. It took us a while because we mistakenly walked the wrong direction for 20 minutes looking for the car but we just took it in stride, walking and talking and trying orient ourselves to the unfamiliar. When we finally figured out we were going the wrong way, we grabbed a quick cab ride back to the parking ramp and finally located Sol's truck! When I gave the Army Sergeant AND Eagle Scout trouble about getting lost he gave me some spiel about how great the maps were in Afghanistan and blah blah blah! It was fun listening to him try to talk his way out of getting us lost.

And that was pretty much it. We sacked out and sadly I had to drag him out of the hotel at 5am to get me to the airport the next morning where I proceeded to take 3 more flights home. It was a LOT of traveling for a little bit of time together but it was worth it! Besides going home to see his family one weekend and going to a river to go floating one day with friends, he has had very little R&R since returning. I think I was a good excuse for him to get off base and just forget about everything for a while. We did have some conversations about the guys he lost over there and how it's been transitioning home but mostly, we kept it light and fun. He seems really great no worse for the wear despite the tough year he's had. He's not really the lock-it-all-away type of guy. Pretty much what you see is what you get and he talks pretty freely about everything so I trust that he really is ok. We had a great time catching up and just had a blast.

And finally, I want to thank everyone for their comments on my previous post. I am in a better head space right now but I so appreciate all your feedback. Surgery has been put on the back burner for now. I'm feeling confident again, comfortable in my skin a bit more and looking forward to my next challenge! When I figure out exactly what that is, I'll let you know! Thanks for hanging around my garden!

Tri Pics

So here's the deal. These are the professional pics that were taken during the triathlon and I have a few things to say about them. The other day, I posted some "before" pics from when I was near my heaviest weight and I was feeling all sassy, like look-at-me-and-how-far-I've-come-and-aren't-I-just-so-tiny-that-I-almost-look-like-I-could-really-use-a-sandwich! Then I saw these pictures. Yeah. Reality packs quite a whallop. So much so that these pictures of me getting out of the water had me thinking about tummy tucks, SERIOUSLY!

Before you go getting all bent out of shape, I am really proud of all the work I've done and I'm super proud of my healthy body, but for someone who's been kicking ass and taking names for as long as I have, I'd like to see a little less me, if you know what I mean. It's my own doing, I like to eat, I like my cocktails, I like to live my life, but if I could do that with about 15 less pounds on me, would that be such a bad thing? I dunno. I guess what I see in the mirror is so much more flattering than what I see in pictures (and don't give me the camera adds 10 pounds crap).

And I might be having just a wee bit of a pity party right now but I'm really working hard on taking this for what it is and not beating myself up for it. That is SO hard for me to do but I'm working on it. I'm looking at these as my new "before" pictures and a challenge to keep working and keep striving and next year at the tri, perhaps posting side by sides to mark my progress.

Incidentally, I love, love, LOVE the biking pics! And of the thousands of people that ran that race, I'm guessing I'm the ONLY one who threw the rocker hand at the photographer as I whizzed on by! Yeah bitches!

The pics below came from Cam's camera. It was so amazing to have friends and loved ones come and watch me. I was touched and yes, I cried.

And I just have to throw a YOWZA Cameron's way because he DOES look aren't-I-just-so-tiny-that-I-almost-look-like-I-could-really-use-a-sandwich! You GO hottie!

So really, I get that this is not all about looks. I mean, I'm 40, I'm healthy, I'm happy, I've got it all and then some. My body takes care of me (and I of it) EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I get what a huge thing that is and I am so totally grateful. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't bothered by my saggy upper arms and thick middle. Like bothered EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I would also be lying if I said I wasn't seriously thinking about how a few procedures might just catapult me to where I'd like to be. But am I THAT girl? I don't know if I am. Definitely some things to ponder. And I'm slightly afraid to ask, but what do you think of the whole thing?

Randomness

Just a bit of randomness here and there today.

First, some pictures from the night after the mini-tri when I was in major celebratory mode. We actually had 3 reasons to celebrate. My tri, The Captain passing his checkride and officially ending his one year probationary period and becoming an official Southwest team member and our one year frenniversary with Camron and Randy! What a year it's been!

The Captain and I hit on of our favorite neighborhood parties, Bastille Day! Lots of good wine and tasty French treats. Oh how I TOTALLY earned those pastries!

Then we hit Tim and Ryan's housewarming party afterwards and caught up with some folks we hadn't seen in a while.

And of course the frenniversary celebrating continued.
Finally,I hit the wall around midnight I think and we took a cab home so I could crash.


Next, the official pictures from the race were published online yesterday and of course I bought mine! Some of them are not too bad and I will be posting them soon. Some of them are really bad and I will for sure be posting those because I have a few things to say about them.

Third, I've been hanging around a few new blogs and love both these snarky cranks. If profanity were an artform........wait..........you mean it's NOT? Check out Carlos and Fat Daddy!

And finally, this little flower is heading to San Antonio this weekend to see Sol! I've never been before and there's tons to do but mostly I can't wait to just catch up with him and treat him to some much needed R&R! I get to stay on a base again (YAY) and can't wait to see if I can kick that boy's butt in a run in 100 degree heat. I'm guessing not but a girl can try, right?

Progress Pics

This blog isn't a weight loss blog. It's just a blog about my life. Currently, fitness and weight loss happen to be a big part of my life and so they are addressed often. I have struggled with my weight since my late 20's but was at my heaviest during my mid 30's. Working out has never been a regular part of my life until the past year or two. Since I never really had a moment, where everything clicked and I knew what I needed to do and where I needed to go, I never sat down and really mapped out my path. I'm more of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl.

Because my journey from fat to fit has evolved slowly overtime it never really occurred to me to take official progress pictures. I just never picked my head up and looked that far down the road. But for some time now, I've been wanting to document visually my progress so I went digging for some old photos. Finding photos of myself at my heaviest weight is not easy to do. I hid behind people for the most part and ALWAYS instructed people to shoot from the waist up but I did find some pics from my 10th wedding anniversary that give you a pretty good idea of where I was at. (And don't worry Scrumpy's! The story behind these pics is at the tail end of this post. )

So it is with a deep breath that I make these public (and this was before I had a digital camera so please bear with me because the photo quality is crappy.)



I'm not posting these pics so you guys can go crazy with the compliments and I am not even saying that I look bad in them, it just to give you an idea of where I was when I started. I love these photos because they represent a really amazing celebration of a truly cherished marriage, they remind me of an amazing night full of laughter and friendship and especially of love. But how I felt in my own skin then, I can't even tell you.

Underneath that size 18 dress, I was wrapped like a sausage in a girdle and slip that made it hard to breath. I felt happy, pretty but also really, really heavy and if you have struggled with your weight, you know those negative thoughts are never far from your mind, even on occasions where the focus is on much more important things, like re-committing yourself to your husband after 10 fabulous years of marriage, there is still that voice in the back of your mind telling yourself that you are not good enough, at least, that's how it was for me.

When I look at who I am today, what I have accomplished and how much I have learned in just the past few years, I am amazed. The Captain totally called it in yesterday's comments; if you would have asked either of us two years ago if I would be doing a mini-tri, we both would have fallen over. It just wasn't me. I love being able to say that now, it just IS me. It took me a while to get comfortable with it, but I AM that girl now. I AM the girl who loves to work out (that STILL amazes me) I AM the girl who is healthy and strong and NICE TO HERSELF! Good Lord people, the HOURS I used to spend on the self loathing negative inner dialogue; it would exhaust even the heartiest of folks.

I am happier and more confident now, I finally know myself inside and out (therapy has been a HUGE part of this transformation for me) and dare I say, I am becoming comfortable in my own skin. Dont' get me wrong, there is still PLENTY I struggle with (hello vino, my old friend) and I would still like to lose 15 more pounds and finally be able to do an unassisted pull up, but I know that I am on the right track. I am finding my way towards moderation and as the scale has proven for the past year, I am 100% capable of maintaining my current weight. Some days it's rough to see that 180 on the scale over and over and OVER again but I know my body has changed immensely. I have lost fat and gained muscle, strength and flexibility and those are all good things. And best of all, I am a healthy, healthy girl.

Completing my first mini-tri (oh YES, there WILL be more!) just feels like reaching a milestone of sorts even though I never even thought about doing one until about 8 weeks ago (seat of my pants, remember? I didn't even own a bike when I signed up for the tri but that's just how I roll). So, it seemed fitting to do a post about progress as I start thinking forward about my next challenge. My sister has invited me to do a half marathon with her on HER 40th birthday and I'm mulling that over. I'm also thinking about doing the MS 150 next summer or something along those lines. I want to continue to make activity and fitness a big part of my life. I want to be able to go and see and do as I get older.

I feel really good about myself these days and am looking forward to continuing on this path and striving to live a healthy life. I look forward to new challenges and experiences. Once again, I appreciate all your support and words of encouragement. The bloggosphere has really provided me with more inspiration than I ever could have imagined when I started this blog oh so many years ago. I have to just thank you again for everything. You guys totally rock my world!

And now, just for you Scrumpy's, the story behind these pics. Long ago, I decided that every 10 years, the hubs and I should re-commit ourselves to each other. It's just a way of saying to each other and the rest of the world, "I still choose you. I still choose to be married to you, to go through this life with you. I still love you. You are still the one for me." It's also a way to have a bunch of different fun weddings.

Our first wedding was super traditional (except for the Keds I wore under my dress, that is!) For our 10th anniversary, we planned a trip to Vegas to do the whole cheesy Elvis thing. About a week before our trip, The Captain was involved in a low speed motorcycle crash (JANIS!) that left him with a broken ankle. Vegas in June is bad enough but add in a cast and crutches and I just didn't think the heat combined with the hobbled condition on my husband would make for an enjoyable experience so we scrapped the trip. Instead, I quickly started planning a back yard affair with a Vegas theme. Our friends TOTALLY rallied and provided food (peanut butter and banana sandwiches) and other treats (gin and tonic jello shots and TWO amazing cakes courtesy of AC, one of which read "Happiness is 10 years of Oral" in sugar letters. Lord, I LOVE that girl!). The Pirate and Tommy DJ'd for us, my girlfriends set up tiki torches, made rows of chairs and an aisle, decorated with white ribbon and tissue paper bells and my girl Jackie Torture made my bouquet from flowers picked from her garden. Our dear friend Tomkin who happens to be a minister, dressed up as Elvis and performed the ceremony along with a few songs from Elvis' catalog for us. It was so fucking fabulous I can't even tell you!!! We laughed until we cried as we slapped the summer mosquito's away and it was a really terrific evening.

It was just one of those nights I know I will never forget. Now, 5 years later, we still go back and watch the video from that night and reminisce over photos. In 5 more years we will have another wedding to plan. This time, we will be beach bound and saying I do in front of a glorious sunset....and you're ALL invited!

Just TRI me baby!

Ok everyone, here we go! The Race Day post! :) It actually begins the day before the big day. After I got back from the Expo, The Captain and I had planned to hit the boat, but to be honest with you, with my nerves jangling the way they were and the task list I had in front of me to get myself organized for the race, I asked if we could please just stay home and have a calm and quiet day. That little angel obliged me even though it was a stunning day and the boat would have been a blast! Instead, I went through my organizing pack list slowly and methodically to make sure I was ready, ready, ready to go. There were supplies and snacks to pack, numbers to affix to equipment, rules to follow. I found that approaching the items one at a time with focus was helping me to feel a bit more in control. There were just so many unknowns, this being my first one and all. I mean just look at all this stuff!

I think the slow and calm day was just what I needed to chase away some of the jitters. Later that night The Captain, being the most spectacularly wonderful guy that he is, whipped up a big carby dinner for me. The Pirate and AC joined us as did my tri-buddy Cess and her hubs Deeg.

You can see next to Cess my glass of "wine" for the evening. Nuthin' like a little G2 to take the place of my vino.

And of course, whenever I get around The Pirate, there is always much mugging for the camera.

Behold, the plate full of goodness I totally devoured! YUM!
Uh huh. I made it all gone!
I rolled into bed around 10 pm, belly full and mind buzzing. While I did sleep, I never sank 100% fully in which I pretty much expected but when my alarm went off at 4:30am I got up feeling calm and prepared. Deeg was a rock star and dropped Cess and I off at the park so we wouldn't have to fool with parking which was going to be a nightmare because of how huge this thing was. When we arrived, we managed to find our way to our assigned bike rack with the help of some seasoned pros. It was funny actually, when we got there there was an empty rack right by the entrance and we were like, HEY! let's just park our bikes HERE! What a great spot! Why has no one taken it? And a very nice man informed us that we actually had to find our assigned spot. The spot we were trying to use was reserved for the pro-athletes. Whoops! First rookie mistake of the day. Anyway, we finally found where we belonged and set up all our gear.

You can see me enjoying my Cliff bar with my happy yellow balloon in the background there. A girl on my tri-team mentioned that lots of folks use balloons to find their bikes easier to aid with transition. Turned out to be one of the BEST pieces of advice I got regarding the race. I always knew just where my spot was and I had about 10 people around me thank me for bringing the balloon because it would help them too. Fabulous! After we finished getting set up, we headed down to the lake to walk from the water to our spot in the transition area, another good piece of advice we got to help orient us to the set up and location so we could transition without getting turned around. Before you knew it, the sun was rising and it was a really gorgeous morning.

Did I mention the weather was PERFECT? Seriously! You could not have ordered up a better day. 70's and sunny with no humidity. The Gods were definitely smiling on us. After walking from the lake to the transition area for practice, we headed over to get inked! I have to say that EVERYTHING at this race was so well marked, it was amazingly easy to find our way around despite the size of it all.

And nothing makes you feel like a bigger bad ass than getting your racing number inked on your skin!
Good Lord! What a couple of hotties!
Below is a shot of the transition area to give you an idea of the scale of this thing. And as if this parking lot wasn't big enough, the bike racks spilled over into the grass
In the upper left corner you can see my happy yellow balloon! And I took this standing sort of in the middle of the transition area so theres about this many bikes behind me as well! And below is a look of all my gear, set up and ready to go.

We met up with our team and the wait began. I was just feeling so calm and so zen that I decided to put on my iPod and go do a few sun salutations in the grass as the sun was coming up. It was a nice way to warm up and just stay relaxed. We had a long wait before our wave started and honestly, that wait was the hardest part of the day for me. We sat around chatting and some of our team ate their breakfast while I decided to try on my swim cap and goggles to make sure everything fit ok. Not my best look!
Then Cess and I had one last pre-race photo and we all decided to get up and watch the pro athletes as they started their races.
I have to tell you, it was mighty impressive. When they hit the water in groups like that, they looked like a school of angry piranhas! Their long course swim was not something I would have wanted to take on that's for sure!
And watching them transition from the water to the bike was amazing as well. They stripped off their wet suits, strapped on their helmets and hit the ground running barefoot! I couldn't see all the way to where they were actually able to mount their bikes but I would have liked to watch them strap their feet into shoes that were ALREADY clipped to the pedals while the bike was in motion. That would have been cool to see. After watching them for a while, we headed to the beach. Some people were warming up by going for a quick swim in the practice area but it was a chilly morning and I didn't want to get wet and then stand around waiting so I skipped it. It just seemed like we were waiting and waiting and waiting forever and then suddenly it was time to line up.

There were 38 people in my "wave" and they lined us up in numerical order. I was number 33 so I was almost to the back which was fine with me! They actually sent us into the water one at at time which pleased me immensely because it meant less chance of being beaten to death by flailing arms and legs in the water. The water temperature was great and since I had so much room, I started off with the freestyle stroke. I found that if I took a breath with every two strokes instead of every four like I normally do in the pool, that I was able to stay oriented and not freak out. When I tried the breast stroke, I just felt like I wasn't making any headway so freestyle it was. It was friendly out there in the water, I took a few feet to the face but nothing too bad and I cheered on some of my competitors in the water. I remember rounding the first buoy and looking at the gal next to me and saying "See ya later buoy number one! Only one more to go." and she smiled and replied "Thank Goodness!". I really couldn't believe how quick and easy the swim was, after all that worrying! I found out later that I actually passed about 30 people in my wave and came in 7th place out of our group in the swim. It only took me 15 minutes to do the half mile swim, no wonder it seemed to fly by! I hit the beach and jogged up the sand to the transition pit.

I really wasn't in a huge hurry. I wanted to make sure I did everything I needed to and was able to catch my breath. I sat down, washed and dried my feet, put on my socks and biking shoes, slipped on my racing jersey, put on my bandanna to keep the hair out of my eyes, strapped on my helmet and slid on my sunglasses. While doing all that, I was also eating my gel blocks for some extra energy. They were like giant, supersoft Dots candy but better engineered for racing. After a few sips of water, I walked my bike to the transition area exit and I was off. I heard someone yell my name on my way out but didn't know who it was (thanks Jess M!) and then I caught sight of Deeg and the kids cheering me on, it was a great way to start the ride. Did I mention it was gorgeous? Who wouldn't want to go for a bike ride on a morning like that? The volunteers who were posted at every road block were also cheering us all on, ringing cow bells, clapping and urging us forward. I rang my happy little bike bell at them as I passed and they seemed to get a kick out of it. I rode at a steady pace, not killing it because I still had the run to complete, but not slacking off either. I just focused on the road and the task at hand. Without an iPod on, it was a really peaceful ride and I took the time to appreciate the beautiful surroundings, the trees, the enormous homes along the river parkway and of course, the Majestic Mississippi herself!

Next thing I knew, the ride was over and it was time for the run. It took me 59 minutes to complete the 15 miles so I averaged 15 mph. I really don't know if that is good or bad but that's how fast I went and now that I know that, I have something to work towards, like going 16 MPH! I heard some more people yelling my name and looked over to see The Captain, Cammy and Melissa. I waved and threw them a big kiss before racking my bike up and switching shoes. I got my helmet off and away I went. After my initial start, I slowed to walk for a minute. My toes were numb from the bike ride and I just needed to get the feeling back in them a bit, plus I needed to switch from a low bike ponytail that fit under my helmet to a high running pony tail to get all that hair off my neck. Once that was done, I got going again. This was really the only area where I had to dig just a little bit as my knees were quietly complaining. I took a deep breath and knew that I was almost done so I just focused on the gorgeous view of Lake Nokomis and kept on going. It really wasn't that hard though and I was able to run without really pushing all that much, it just sort of happened. The closer I got to the finish line, the more people there were clapping and yelling and all that energy had me picking up my pace. Just before I got to the finish, I saw my cheering section calling my name and rooting me on and I crossed the line with the biggest smile on my face. I DID IT!!!!! I finished my first tri and I didn't collapse or anything! I was so proud! What really blew me away was that it took me 31 minutes to complete the run which meant that after all that swimming and biking, I was still able to run a 10 minute mile which is what I usually average anyway. Cool beans.

As soon as I got my timing chip off, I went to go find The Captain and treated him to a big sweaty hug! He and Cam and Melissa had tons of high praise for me and I just soaked it all in. I grabbed some much needed snacks and a bottle of water and then I saw Cess! She came in about 10 minutes or so before I did and it was great to see her and congratulate her and the rest of our team. During the bike and run, about 20 people from our wave passed me up and I came in 27th out of our 38 person wave. Not too shabby I didn't think but what really surprised me was that I did the entire race in 1 hour and 57 minutes! WOW! I was thinking it was going to take me at least 2 hours and 15 or 30 minutes so I was really happy with my time even though my only goal was to finish.

We pulled up some grass and I took a bit of a rest while I told The Captain, Cam and Melissa about my race. Cammy took some post race pics which I will post after he emails them to me. After I got my breath back, Cam and Melissa headed home and The Captain and I headed for the Race Results tent. They took a look at the number on my arm, punched it into a computer and it just spit out a receipt that you might get at a grocery store with all my stats on it. Instant results, I LOVE IT!!!!! If you interested, you can check it out at the bottom of this post but I'm warning you ahead of time, it's a lot of information to wade through.

We left after I got my race results and I think you'll agree that I got the best chariot ride home ever! The sidecar!

I was surprised at how much FUN I had! I didn't even really have to dig that deep to finish it and afterwards, I wasn't sore at all; just tired which I easily fixed with a two hour nap when I got home. I really enjoyed the entire race and even all the hoopla leading up to it. I have a feeling I may be doing this again next year and I'm already starting to think up ideas for my next challenge in the meantime. Anybody got any ideas?

There's just one last thing I want to mention about the race before I wrap this up. In addition to getting our race numbers marked on both arms, they also wrote our age on our left calf. It was the oddest thing to have instant access to information that you don't normally get to have with complete strangers. It certainly made the people watching more interesting and I was just so proud to have that 40 on my leg I can't even tell you! I saw a girl as young as 12 who totally impressed me and I'm not sure what the oldest age I saw was but I do recall seeing plenty of 60's!

And finally, I want to say thank you SO MUCH to all the folks who have sent me comments, emails and facebook messages leading up to the race. You guys have just been the best cheerleaders a flower could ask for and you will never have any idea how much your words and encouragement have meant to me. A few years ago I never would have dreamed that I'd be able to to anything like this and I'm learning so much about myself and my capabilities and what it is to dream and achieve. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me. I love you all to death!

Results For:
Short Course
Bib #:
3133
Age:
40
Gender:
F
City, State:
Saint Paul, MN
Nation:
USA
Race Category:
Short Course - F & F - F & F Women
Triathlon Results - Short Course
Finish Time:
1:57:07.9
Category Place:
26 out of 50 F & F Women finishers
Overall Place:
770 out of 996 Short Course finishers
Gender Overall Plc:
352 out of 510 Female finishers
Triathlon Splits
Swim .4 mile
Time:
15:29.9
Pace:
2:24 /100m
Category Place:
7
Overall Place:
347
Gender Overall Plc:
144
Transition #1
Time:
6:57.6
Category Place:
45
Overall Place:
966
Gender Overall Plc:
488
Bike 15 miles
Time:
59:51.2
Pace:
15.0MPH
Category Place:
29
Overall Place:
805
Gender Overall Plc:
363
Transition #2
Time:
3:02.8
Category Place:
40
Overall Place:
798
Gender Overall Plc:
387
Run 3 mile
Time:
31:46.2
Pace:
10:35/M
Category Place:
25
Overall Place:
756
Gender Overall Plc:
343

Tri-tastic start!!!!

This morning, instead of going to work, I enjoyed a flex day and slept in (10 hours of uninterrupted sleep thankyouverymuch!) rose slowly and enjoyed a cuppa joe and some breakfast before heading off to pick up my girl Cess. She is doing the tri with me and we decided to head down to the tri-expo together to pick up our race day packets. The expo was at the Minneapolis Convention Center and due to construction and such, we actually had to walk several miles from our parking garage to the Convention Center. Given that I was in flip flops and today was supposed to be a REST day (Hello? What is restful about walking two miles through downtown construction zones getting lost because you don't know where the hell you are? NOT MUCH!) Anyway, we finally made it there and were very excited!

We kept following signs and following signs which meant more walking and more walking......

Cess took everything in stride but your little flower? Well she was getting pretty cranky to be honest! So typical!
We finally made it to the big show and man oh man, what an expo it was! There were all sorts of vendors, free samples to try, contests to enter and of course lots of shopping to do!
Cess bought a cutie little t-shirt to commemorate her first ever tri!
While I bought new swim goggles because I'm slightly terrified that mine will break race day morning and without backups, I'd be screwed because I wear contacts. So really, I was buying some peace of mind. And actually, these are really nice goggles so I'll probably wear them tomorrow.
We stood in line and picked up our packets and goodie bags....
...and then got our free t-shirts. Ugly in my opinion but hey, it's free and come tomorrow afternoon, I will have earned that bad boy!

And finally, we stopped and bought some energizing snacks for tomorrow. There was no shortage of hot boys at the convention center let me tell you! Wayne here was no exception. He is from Australia and was very sweet and helpful. AND it turns out that he is working the transition pit tomorrow so I may very well see him again. He promised to keep an eye out for us. It will be sweet to have a familiar face there, even if I just met the guy. Anything to help calm my nerves you know?
Anyway, I've been getting lots of well wishes today which I totally love and appreciate. Here are a few emails I took in this morning.

First from my fellow blogger Kim:
Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo my little fish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanted to wish you ALL OF THE BEST for the big tri tomorrow!!!!!! I am SO SO SO SO SO freaking proud of you for taking this on, and for working so hard to prepare. You are as always, a shining light and true inspiration of what wearing the big girl panties is supposed to look like!!! :) I can't tell you how much that I wish that I could be there to help cheer you on and celebrate once you cross that finish line. Please know that I'll be there in spirit, rooting you on the entire way.
Will The Captain be there??? I hope so!!!
Please have a fabulous time, and let the athlete that you have become out to ROAR!!!!!
LOVE AND HUGS AND HIGH FIVES!!!!


And then from my awesome Kitten:

Lucas!!!
I so wish I could be there in person tomorrow to see your awesomeness and to cheer you on!! Know that I will be cheering from the West Coast, my dear. You are totally amazing and I am proud of you for doing this tri - no matter what. You rock. And I know you'll find a way to have fun here and there, too. Otherwise, what's the point, right?
Love ya,
Julie

And of course, from UD:

...Today is a day off for rest, carbs tonight and lots of sleep. I really do think the Captain said it best in your previous blog. You are in shape and now is the time to just go do it and have fun doing it. Go with the attitude that no matter what happens or how you finish or even if you finish, the whole objective is not to prove you are a tri-athlete, but that you are a confident young woman who is pushing her envelope and having fun doing it. We all couldn’t be more proud of you just because you decided to take this on and train for it. I know that I never would have even tried, but that’s mostly because even though I was a life guard at one time, I sink like a rock in water and depend on forward movement to stay afloat. You’ve seen someone skip a rock on the water and when it finishes skipping, it always sinks. That’s me. So this tri is something that your uncle wouldn’t have ever done, and I was at one time in my life a pretty athletic person. So regardless of the outcome tomorrow, we all think you are pretty great just for trying.
Good luck, give it your best, and most of all have fun doing it.
Much love to you from here on Wentworth.
UD

The Captain is downstairs as I type, cooking up a big mess of carby deliciousness. We are having Cess and Deeg over for dinner along with The Pirate and AC. Then it's off to an early bed with fingers and toes crossed for a good nights sleep and then tomorrow before the sun even thinks about making an appearance, Cess and I will be up and rolling towards the starting line.

Thanks to all for the kind words, encouragement and LOVE! I am definitely feeling it! I promise not only to do you all proud, but to do MYSELF proud as well, no matter what. I'll be back soon and when I am, I'll be able to call myself a triathlete! BOO-YA!!!!

Holy Lake Beating Batman!

The big lesson learned last night? Lucas has clearly NOT done enough (or any) lake training! Oh sure, in my head I was thinking, "Now Lucas, you have to remember that the lake will not be as easy to swim as the pool. There will be waves and murky water and other bodies thrashing about, but you are a good swimmer and it should be no problem for YOU." But having that in my head and experiencing it out in the actual water....NOT THE SAME THING!!!!

Cessica and I went to Lake Nokomis last night to do a lake swim. It was her third. My first. All I gotta say folks is WOW. And I mean W.O.W.! The water temp was great, no worries there. It was a bit murky but not too bad, there were a few seaweed strands but nothing at all scary, it didn't even smell bad, but the waves and the bodies? Those are gonna be a problem folks. I started off with a freestyle stroke which quickly had me panicking a bit. I couldn't swim a straight line to save my life, the waves (small as they were) were tossing me about quite a bit and occasionally when I turned my head to the side for a breath, I got a face full of water instead. Ok, freestyle? Clearly not the way to go! So I started in with the breast stroke. MUCH BETTER! I could see where I was going, where the other people in the water were and was able to get actual air into my lungs instead of lake water when I came up for a breath. Sure, it's a slower paced stroke but who cares? If it gets me from A to B without panicking or drowning then it's the stroke for me! Every now and again, when there was some empty water stretched out in front of me, I switched to freestyle and was able to use that stroke for a while before returning to the breast stroke and I think I developed sort of a system to be able to get me through the water. Sort of. I hope. Oh God, I hope and pray!

I am SO GLAD I went out to the lake as my very last workout before the tri. What if I had skipped that step and found myself panicked and trying to figure this all out on race day? Would have been a lousy way to start the race! So while I maybe got beat up a bit last night, I also learned a lot and am feeling better about the swim now that it is not such a HUGE unknown. And the best part is that after we swam approximately how far we will be swimming on Saturday, I didn't feel tired at all, even with the beating I took. I know the length of the swim won't be a problem, just navigating through the waves and bodies will and I now have just a bit of an idea of what that will be like.

And so that's it! All training is behind me. Workouts are done. All I need to do now is keep on eating right, resting and getting some serious sleep so that I'm ready and fresh for race day. The Captain came home late LATE last night so I know I'm in good hands; grilled protein and veggies here I come! So I'm off for now.

Hope you all have a great Thursday!

Reality Is Setting In!

Holy shit kids! I'm doing a mini-tri! In THREE days!!!! Race day, an event that has loomed in the distance for the past two months is suddenly right around the corner and I'm a little freaked, I gotta say! I received a fabulously helpful email from Lifetime Fitness (the main sponsor of the event) and while all the information is helpful, it has also made this very REAL. This ain't no cute little 35 dollar 5K where about 200 people show up, NO! This is the BIG TIME folks! If you add up all the money I've spent getting ready for this race, including the totally steep registration fee, it's probably over 400 beans! Thousands of racers and even more spectators. There are rules and regulations and if you do anything wrong.....DQ'd!!! Wear an MP3 player? DQ'd. Ride your bike from your car to the transition area without a helmet WITH THE CHIN STRAP BUCKLED??? DQ'd! How bad would it suck to prep for 8 weeks only to be DQ'd before the race even began? There are checklists of things to get ready, snacks to be prepared and timed just right, traffic to fight, parking to find and that's all before the report time of 5:30 AM!!! Ok. Sorry. Lucas is just a little bundle of nerves right now but it's ok. My rational self is telling my fuckingfreakedoutpanicked self to calm the eff down. I know there will be loads of volunteers to help me. I know my teammates will be there with their bevy of previous experience. I know my body and my mind are ready to do this race. I'm just a bit jittery is all.

Last night I hammered out a nearly effortless 5 miles. (WHAT? Seriously! Part of me is still wondering where the hell this girl came from! 5 miles.....nearly effortless??? I'm sitting here shaking my head!) Tonight I swim the lake portion of the race with my girl Cess in the actual lake where the race will take place. That all by itself is sure to remove a big part of the mystery for me. I'll get to feel the water temperature, learn about the weeds in the water, get a whiff of that delicious lake smell (not!) and get an idea of how long it will take me to swim it. There won't be a billion other thrashing arms and legs around me but at least I will have SOME idea of what I'm looking at. Then Thursday and Friday I have to take two mandatory days off from working out so that I'm fresh for Saturday.

Friday, Cess and I will head to the EXPO where we will be picking up our race day packets with our numbers, timing chips, swim caps and commemorative t-shirts along with rules and regulations. Then we will probably take a spin around the convention center to visit some of the vendors. See what I mean about all this? BIG TIME!!! The packet pick up is at the Minneapolis Convention Center? WITH VENDORS??? Big time Baby! BIG TIME!!! That little trip is sure to get me so amped up that sleep will be tough Friday night for sure. The alarm will be going off at 4:30am on Saturday and then the scary but exciting adventure begins. My stomach is doing flip flops right now just thinking about it all.

But I think it's good that I start this little pre-panic now, take in as much information as I can so that I can calm myself down by Saturday, don't you? I mean, who wants to get punched in the face with fresh panic on race day morning? Not me. I'd like my panic to be nice and seasoned thankyouverymuch! And so for the next 3 days I will be remembering to breathe and I will be doing what I can to finish getting mentally prepped for what is sure to be not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. And that's the plan Stan!

Before I sign off, I thought I'd leave you with some pics of my fun dinner out with Cam and Randy and Ann and Amy on Sunday night. We hit the Eagle Street Grill in downtown Saint Paul for some awesome food and drinks.

One slice of their cake fed 5 people AND there were leftovers! It was enormous!
AND delicious.


Happy Hump Day everyone!

Wrapping up Mile High

After breakfast with the boys, I headed over to my auntie's house for a little hang time and to help her prep for her 4th of July party. It was nice to spend some quiet time with family, my mom was there and we had a few nice hours of just chatting and looking at pictures together. Then the family started to arrive. I took some shots but truthfully, was a bit too busy saying hello and catching up to do any serious shooting. I did manage to catch a few fun shots though.

My mom has been best friends with Marilyn since first grade. Marilyn is like family....

...and she has the best eyes ever!

My cousin Ian's wife, Rebecca. What a stunner! (She reminds me of one of my fellow bloggers a bit. Anybody want to guess who?)

I actually lightened thess up quite a bit in photoshop but I must have grabbed the wrong versions because they are all dark, but here is my momma in all her glory!

My Aunt Marty loves to have her photograph taken!

Luckily, her son, my cousin Jake is more obliging.

Rebecca and Asher. How totally sweet is that?

Uncle Teece. Handsome devil!

Uncle Jim Bob.

And a few of me and momma with some fabulous softening effects! That Barbara Walters knows what she's doing!

Manning the grill!

Me with my cousin Ian, his wife Rebecca and hey! look who's awake? Hi Asher!

And probably the biggest surprise of the entire weekend, seeing my friend Merrie after nearly 18 years! First, I can't believe it's been THAT long since college! Second, it was great to see her again and meet her husband. (Facebook sparks ANOTHER reunion!)

Later that night, it was time to go out AGAIN! Someone thought it was a great idea to order a ridiculous flaming drink chock full o rum! What's a girl to do?Raising a toast with Jake's amazingly gorgeous girlfriend Jacey!

And finally, what better way to wrap up Denver than with a shot of the most beautiful girl in all the world.......Riley Sue! Don't let her tough exterior fool you, she's a dainty little flower, just like her cousin Lucas! :)

Later peeps!

Lucille's

Saturday morning I was actually able to sleep in a bit and lolled about in bed until 10am! Nice! When I finally did get up, Jake and Eroy took me to Lucille's for some seriously great breakfast. Of course there were mimosas...

...and something amazing called Beignet's. Whoa. How have I never had those before? Danger! Danger!And ridiculously big biscuits all hot and buttery fresh!!!

While sampling lots of the treats the boys got, I ordered fruit and an English Muffin. Don't be too impressed, the fruit was in heavy cream. YUM! And of course, all the food went down better with a big side of attitude! Later that day was the family party and I have more pics and stories to share but I just couldn't get the pics loaded when I got home yesterday. I took a nap instead. I am one seriously tired flower who has returned from Denver feeling a bit blue. Not sure if it was coming home to an empty house or leaving my family or both but I am feeling really overwhelmed by life today. I'd like nothing better than a weeklong staycation at home to just sleep, do some chores and get myself back together but instead, I have an insanely busy week as I log 9 hours a day at work and prep for my final push towards the tri. I'm not gonna lie to you folks, I can't wait until this tri training is over and I can workout like a regular person again instead of some insane girl. I miss my yoga and my lazy 4 days of working out a week. Ha! Well, hope you all are enjoying your Monday. Mine might be a little blue but I'm still happy to have it.

A backwards look at Denver

Due to time limitations and the fact that I am working on a computer that isn't mine and I'm not sure how to work everything, these pictures and stories are starting last night and working their way backwards over the past two days. Enjoy.

Last night Jake and I had an amazing dinner at Cafe Brazil where he used to work. It was a really interesting place as waiting on tables is a group effort and we had about 4 different people taking care of us.

It helps to know people who work there because after dinner, Jake's friends kept feeding us shots. Really good shots too of alcohol that I'd never heard of but that was really delicious and has left me not at all hungover. Now THAT'S how to do shots!


A look at my awesome dinner. Halibut with a mango sauce and grilled peppers and zucchini. So fantastic. I've actually done really well while here, not eating anything ridiculous or just go crazy. Lots of fish and fruit and veggies.
Before dinner, we swung by my Aunt Boopy's house to see her, Uncle Jim Bob and my mom. Isn't he a handsome devil?
Yesterday morning I set off for Colorado Springs (about an hour and a half drive south of Denver) to meet up with my friend Michele. She wanted to go hiking and I happily agreed. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Her idea of a hike was to climb a mile long incline straight up a mountain! It starts at 6600 feet and inclines up 2200 feet until you reach 8800 feet.



It was seriously hard and intense. My hangover combined with the thin air made it really challenging for me but I am proud to say that I did it! I was able to keep up with Michele and her boyfriend and together we made it in an hour and 15 minutes. And when I say made it, I mean we made it to the top. Then we had to get back down. We took a different trail and ran for about a mile down a winding path with switchbacks and loose gravel. It was way different running than I was used to but I found that I really enjoyed it! You really had to pay close attention to where every footfall was landing so you didn't stumble and fall. Because I was running downhill, my quads got a great workout. I just watched my feet and the trees whizzing by and enjoyed smelling that awesome mountain air! I was in front of Michelle and John and really just enjoyed being alone while running through the mountains. After about a mile, we reconnected with the incline steps. The mile run down the switch backs had saved us about a half a mile of walking down the incline so we had another half a mile to go. Let me tell you, going down the steps is definitely easier on the lungs and heart than going up, but it's way harder on the legs. By the time we got to the bottom, my legs felt like jello and I wasn't sure how much longer they would agree to support me. Man, was I wobbly. We headed straight for some food and enjoyed some awesome chips and salsa with some truly tasty fajitas. After all that hard work, my body was ready for some food!! We kicked around Manitou Springs for a bit ducking into a few shops here and there before I jumped in my car to head back up to Denver. I'm so glad I did that climb but it seriously kicked my ass and I was SO tired afterwards.

The night before my climb, I hung out with my cousins. For dinner, my Aunt Marty, Uncle Terry, cousin Jake and I headed to Jax Fish House where my cousin Erin works. Erin ordered up some amazing cod for me to try while the rest of the gang ordered up some calamari and shrimp. After dinner, Marty and Terry headed home while Jake and I hung around waiting for Erin to get off work. After he did, we all headed to a bar right near my aunt and uncles house and just hung out chatting and drinking until it was time to turn in.

I brought the boys some treats from a sweet shoppe I had visited earlier in the day. Jake enjoyed his Juicy Mullet gum and later, there was some fun to be had with some pop rocks!
Jake with one of his candy cigarettes!

Earlier in the day, my girl Daisy aka Steamboat picked me up and we drove to Boulder for some lunch and fun. Daisy has the most adorable daughter and is also currently pregnant with twins.
We stopped by a sweets shoppe and paused for a balloon animal for Natalie.


Although I referred to her all day as Suri and kept asking her where Tom and Katie were. Isn't she so stinkin' cute???
It was great to catch up with Steamboat and I can't wait until I come back next time and get to meet her new additions. So that's it for now. Today is all about hanging with the family for the 4th of July. I hope you all have a great holiday. I'll be back with more pictures and stories soon!

Denver!

Well I survived my very first standby flight on Southwest! It was super easy (and SUPER early in the morning), I got a row all to myself and slept the entire way. Hurrah! By the way, I'm not sure how to fix the text so it's a little wonky. I'm on TC's computer, please forgive. Anyway, while I wait for my girl Daisy to pick me up for a lunch date, let me show you a few of the reasons why I love to come to my auntie's beautiful home!




Well, I'm off to start my day. There will be plenty more where this came from!

And Merrie????? I will give you a call, thanks for your number. Might not be able to make it to your location but we'll see what's what. It would be great to see you again! MWAH!

Biker Chick!

I have to tell you a little something readers, I may be falling in love with my bicycle......(well, technically, Kitten's bicycle). When I signed up to do this tri, I was the most worried about the biking portion. I worried because I didn't HAVE a bike, I worried because I almost never ride a bike (except for my motorcycle) and I worried especially about the seat (and my lady business). Then Kitten stepped up with the gift of loaning me her super awesome road bike; The Green Monster! When I first started riding again, I was wobbly, had trouble with the clip in shoes, was worried about traffic, fumbled trying to change the gears. I gotta admit, it was scary.......and ugly! But now? Now I get on that bike and I feel confident. That adrenaline starts pumping and I go on the ATTACK! I peddle furiously, I sweat, I grunt and I even let out a whoop every now and again. I love the wind in my face, the speed I can generate, the rhythm of it all. I am starting to think that my weak event will not be the bike ride but will in fact be the swim. Interesting. But before I even start this race, before I pin on my number, line up for the start and wait for the gun, I've already won.....and that is a good, good feeling!

Back to being super busy and fighting some serious fatigue but not to worry, all will be well. I just need a little shut eye. I'll be attempting to jump a flight for Denver tomorrow to spend the 4th with my family there. Wish this little flower luck. Standby is always a crap shoot! Well, no more time today. Hope you all enjoyed popping by the garden. Have a great day!